Messy Faith


I’ve given birth to two kids and been around the barnyard to assist in many livestock births and let me tell you the quaint, sanitized picture we have portrayed in our nativity sets looks nothing like birth.
Just a couple of weeks ago one of our pigs gave birth, we call it farrowing. I had moved her closer to the house since the weather had turned cold and I might need to run a heat lamp. Try as I might to separate the boar into another pen, he kept breaking out and I’d find the two of them snuggled up together in her pen. True love, I guess. Anyway, by the time I discovered she was farrowing, the first two had already been born. Wendell was laying in the hut, snoring away while Mickey labored. She was positioned against him such that her backside was pressed against his huge belly. I couldn’t figure out how the first two piglets even made it out! I tried to rouse Wendell, but he’s an extremely heavy sleeper, all 700 lbs of him! Instead, I found myself crouching near or rather sitting on Wendell’s face so I was positioned to help the piglets get out and away from the danger of being crushed by either hog. I’m sure it was quite the sight, Bones huddled in the far corner trying to keep the already born piglets safe and warm, Mickey labored kicking and rolling and snorting through the contractions, and I played midwife to the piglets as I sat on Wendell’s face. All the while, he snored on, oblivious to the birth happening around him.
After a few were born, we felt the need to get Wendell out of there, so I fetched a half-gallon of old stinky milk and roused him with the smell of food. Typical. He happily followed the milk to another pen.
Mickey’s labor stalled at this point and it was getting late into the night. Bones set up the heat lamp and then went in to put the kids to bed. I came in for a cup of coffee, some warmer clothes and then headed back out to sit with Mickey. After several hours had passed with no new piglets born, I became worried and called the vet. It was around midnight, so I left a voice message on the emergency phone line. As soon as I hung up, Mickey kicked with a huge contraction and a gush of blood and piglet came out. I grabbed the piglet up and rubbed it vigorously with some clean straw, but I knew it was dead. Within a minute or two another piglet plopped out, I held my breath till I saw it twitch, then grabbed it up and away from Mickey’s kicking, rubbed it dry with straw, and held it against me for warmth. When Mickey’s kicking eased I placed it near a teat and it eagerly began nursing. Then my phone rang. Not having anywhere to wipe my hands I grabbed it up with bloody hands, just then realizing I hadn’t remembered gloves. The vet had called back, and just as I tried to tell her I thought everything was fine now, another piglet popped out. She surmised that the stillborn one had been the source of the prolonged labor, who knows why. The births were steady now, just a few minutes between them until finally 11 had been born – 2 of them stillborn.
After I saw her deliver what looked like the placenta, I decided to call it a night. Mama and piglets were nursing happily, the heat lamp would keep them comfortable, and Wendell had settled back down in his new pen. Covered in blood and straw and who knows what else, I stripped down in the bitter cold outside rather than traipse all that through the house. My clothes went straight in the wash and I went straight in the shower.
All I know about birth is that even with as much joy as it brings, it is exhausting, inconvenient, scary, messy, and sometimes heartbreaking. That’s pretty much how I feel about faith too. When we engage fully in our faith it pushes us into places that are challenging and scary. It calls us to actions that are inconvenient, at best, messy and terrifying sometimes. Following our faith means experiencing heartbreak sometimes or walking with others who are experiencing heartbreak. Even with all the joy, peace, love, and hope that we experience when we walk in faith with God, it is not easy and certainly not the sterile, idyllic scene we display on our mantels at Christmas.

Unless, like Wendell, you sleep through the whole thing, only rousing long enough to follow your own greedy desires.

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